A Baby Story

Madeleine May's arrival into the world was a little more epic than Ethan's, so I'll try to keep it short :) There is a lot more to say, since I did it naturally... all of you who have done that know what I mean! Yikes!

I went into labor early evening of Thursday, October 13... and I was not excited about it. I mean, I wanted her out, don't get me wrong, but I didn't want my daughter's birthday to someday fall on Friday the 13th of Halloween month. It just doesn't seem like a very nice birthday for a little girl. Luckily, the contractions started out slow and far between, even pausing for a while later that night. I wasn't sure when to go in, having had a very different experience the first time around. I let Greg go to his soccer game while I packed up last-minute items and called my friend Amy to give her a heads up that tonight might be the night. She offered to spend the night with Ethan, rather than having us wake him and bring him to her house.

At about 11:30 the contractions were getting stronger and more painful, and about 8 minutes apart. My midwife had said to come in when they were 7–10 minutes apart, given my history. I still wasn't sure if it was time, but I didn't want to end up having a baby in my bed, so we called Amy to come on over, and we arrived at the hospital around 1am.

They put us in a room to monitor the baby and decide if we should stay or not. I was 3 cm. Given that my contractions were not super close together, they weren't sure how quickly I would progress. But I had had Ethan in 5 hours flat, and this time I tested positive for Group B Strep (a common bacteria that can cause illness in infants), so they wanted to make sure they were able to get two doses of Penicillin in me, four hours apart. As it turned out, we just barely made it!

About an hour and a half after we arrived, they officially admitted us (into a much nicer room ;)). I was about 4 centimeters. They gave me my first dose of Penicillin at around 4am, which was pretty unpleasant. I didn't like getting the IV, and it burned when the meds went in. I felt encumbered by all of the monitoring equipment and the IV... it was a little claustrophobic.

I opted for no epidural, as I felt the pain was manageable. I wanted to try to do it without pain meds. Why? I dunno. To experience that feeling women talk about, when they say you get the "urge" to push. To say I'd done it. To try something new. Bragging rights.

I started by walking during contractions. Then sitting in the rocking chair helped. Once we finished with the Penicillin, I opted to try the bathtub. I'd wanted to do that with Ethan, but couldn't since my water broke before I arrived at the hospital.

I labored in the tub for a while, and it was getting uber painful. I grabbed the bar and got up on my knees during contractions. The warm water felt nice when I could relax, but trying to get up and down was difficult, especially as each contraction began. Every half an hour, they put the monitor on to see how baby was doing. I was so over it. I got out of the tub and we walked to my room. Walking was so, so painful. Moving was painful. Everything was painful. After a short time in the room, I burst into tears and told Greg I couldn't take it anymore... I wanted the epidural! He told the nurse, who told the midwife. Wow, they said. Sudden change. I was no longer calm and quiet. Would I like them to check and see where I was at now? Perhaps I was in transition, which they say is the hardest part (it's not).

7 cm. Bleh.

I kept breathing deeply, and they kept encouraging me. It hurt. Oh Lord, how it hurt! I clung to Greg and we stood together swaying through the contractions. I hung on for dear life. They talked about breaking my water. They needed to wait and get one more dose of Penicillin in me. After a short time, I started to lose it again. I just couldn't breathe deeply and remain calm through the pains that wracked my body. They checked me again.

8 cm.

I had another contraction just then. They asked if I wanted them to break my water. Are you kidding me? YES! Get it out!! (Madeleine was no longer my sweet little girl... she was the thing causing me this crazy unbearable pain, and I wanted it out, pronto!)

The midwife broke my water and they all gasped as baby dropped and suddenly they could see her head. "Is she complete?" They asked one another. Yep. In less than a minute I made it from 8 to 10. Why didn't we do this sooner, ladies? They pumped Penicillin into me as I felt the immediate urge to push. So this is what it's like. Oh man, it was so painful. It was like what I imagine people who are being tortured to death feel like. It was like being torn in two. I can't imagine death being any more painful than childbirth. I was clinging to Greg, holding my midwife's hand, begging for help, begging them to make it stop, begging them to take it away, and telling them I couldn't do it. To which they replied, "You are doing it!" I couldn't argue with that.

I pushed once, hard, then the urge left me. It was gone so long I wondered if labor had stopped? But the respite was welcome. I lay there wishing it wouldn't begin again, wondering how I would get through it. That was a dark, desperate place, knowing no one could do it for me, knowing there was no way out but through, knowing it was far too late for pain relief. I felt trapped. The urge began again and this time it returned regularly until she arrived.

I struggled between breathing deeply and quietly through the pain, and crying and screaming and begging for mercy. I alternately lost control and regained it. I felt hot, sweaty, tired. They said I was so close. They said they could see her. It made me feel like she was just on the verge of coming out, when in reality her head hadn't even emerged yet. Greg was crying and telling me how beautiful it was and how great I was doing and how she was almost here. I could think of nothing but the overwhelming desire for relief.

I pushed for 7 minutes. The midwives were all amazed. From 8 cm to baby in about 10 minutes.

"Open your eyes!" they said. I did. I saw her emerge, a long skinny little thing with a head full of dark hair.

When I pushed that last push that freed her from me at last, they put her hot little body on me and I held her, but the umbilical cord was short, and it was pulling, and that stung. They scrambled to prepare it so that Greg could cut it. Then there was the placenta to get out. That was over quickly and relatively painlessly, and finally, I could relax. It is a girl, right? Yes. Ok.


She was born at 8:13am, weighing 7 lbs 15 oz, 20.5 inches long.

I felt really well taken care of, I'm super glad I chose a midwife, and I'm proud of myself for getting through that experience.

But I'll be opting for the epidural asap, next time ;)